Sweet Green Apples
by junkii
Summary: [VoldemortRon oneshot] How do you settle a dispute between two males who want Ron's hand in marriage? Fred and George deliver the answer with two words: Guitar Hero. Who will be able to live happily ever after with Ron? We'll see!


**a/n;; **This is completely not intended to be taken seriously. Just random crack my mind came up with. This is my 'happily ever after' of Harry Potter. XD Oh yeah. I hope I break some brains. And...stuff. Harry Potter so not belong to me. Um. Review...if you actually...enjoy? This is for the lulz, so...yeah. OOCness, etc.

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Exhilaration. Anticipation. Anxiety. 

Epic.

The four words rang through Ronald Weasley's mind, the redhead watching the two handsome males battle it out over_ him_. Him, of all people! You-Know-Who...and The Boy Who Lived. Battling over a mere Weasley, no less. They could easily have chosen some...some male worth fighting for. You-Know-Who should have chosen Lucius... and Potter could easily score with Draco. But _no_. Both wanted Ron's hand in marriage.

And, of course the male couldn't decline either.

Fred and George's theory of solving the problem?

Guitar Hero.

So, Ronald Weasley was currently watching Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter strike riffs, both already acing what would seem impossible. Fingers glided over buttons, the Xbox 360 whirring still as the big screen TV showed the two battling it out. Ron held his breath, blushing lightly as he watched Potter rock out, eyes glancing over to the Dark Lord. _Who in the bloody hell is gonna win? They seem unstoppable_...

'Guitar Hero will surely settle matters, Ron! Then you can happily marry the winner and skip into the sunset while the other sulks.'

'Ah, yes, brother, you're quite right. It'll be a shame to who can't kiss the bride!'

Ron had to vow to Mrs. Weasley that he wouldn't punch either twin in the face. The conversation, and blushing on Ron's part, started ringing in his head. As were wedding bells, but that was a complete secret which neither potential groom could know. The song ended, Ron sitting pretty in the wedding dress as he watched both males in tuxedos go for another round, both giving glares as Harry tempted not to Avada Kedavra Voldemort's ass. He refrained. He didn't want Ron in a fret.

Fred and George were filming the 'epic battle' in a hidden area, watching Ron grumble to himself as he wished the fight would end.

"Oi, Ron! Why not marry both blokes?" Fred and George chorused, sly grins on their faces before they hid, not wanting any of the males in the room to send a Killing Curse on them. Ron stood up with a shocked face, blushing profusely before he turned his attention to the screen. One of the males jeered, the other letting out a NO in horror.

Lord Voldemort won, laughing his head off at the sulking Potter boy.

Quickly, and with a fluid motion, the Dark Lord moved to scoop the bridal-wearing redhead in his arm, grinning like a snake as he moved to leave the emo Harry Potter alone to cut himself. At least, that's what his evil and diabolical mind was planning for Harry to do. Fred and George gave a round of applause, smirking as they followed the two.

"You know, Ron. I hope you like--"

"--the Green Apple flavor--"

"--the Death Eaters buy."

Another hearty laugh, the twins running far away from their new brother-in-law, moving to dodge any Avada Kedvara's he may cast at them. Ron merely raised a red eyebrow, looking at the male carrying him with questioning eyes. Voldemort shook his head, carrying Ron out of the Burrow. The sun started to set, the engaged couple whispering sweet nothings to each other as kisses were exchanged.

Voldemort started skipping, Ron giggling as his long and flowy red hair, due to a charm Voldemort cast, moved to the wind, almost like a Herbal Essence commercial. "Oh Voldiekins" he let out, grinning and blushing as he made his way with his to-be husband, guitar solo playing in the background. (Somehow.)

Harry, however, wasn't so lucky. He frowned, bestriding his white horse, Mr. Rainbows, patting it and stroking it's mane. If Ron wanted Voldemort, it was certainly alright. He only hoped for the best for the couple.

He could always have fun with Mr. Rainbows.


End file.
